Meetings Around the Meeting

Last week, I met with an executive friend at a company we both worked with — she was an executive, and I was a consultant. She’s now the CEO of a different company.

Over coffee, she asked, “Did you ever notice the meetings before the meetings?” referring to the previous company’s ways of working. I did. And I noticed the meetings after the meetings, too.

You probably know what we’re talking about—the pre-meeting meetings and post-meeting discussions where everyone finally feels free to say what they think and feel.

I imagined a meeting merry-go-round. A team of people encircling the “actual meeting” to manage emotions, deal with stress, and make sense of and prepare for what’s really happening.

The real meeting should be where key stakeholders explore directions, vital decisions are discussed and made, the planning gets done, budget, timing, and personnel issues are discussed, and action items are set.

But if you’re having meetings around the meeting, is all this really happening?

It’s a phenomenon that plays out in workplaces far and wide. While cathartic, it’s usually a sign of a deeper issue: drama. Another name for it is: “the invisible culture.”

See, when you’re not willing to speak the truth or offer views without retribution in the actual meeting—share team and individual real-time thoughts, feelings, and concerns—all that turns into drama and a lot of wasted time and energy.

The unresolved issues don’t just disappear; they go underground and resurfaces in unhealthy ways. Then you get back-channeling, gossip, and passive-aggressive behavior. Worse, good people leave, or team members stay but check out (Think: The Great Resignation).

The result? It is a massive waste of time and energy, not to mention a severe hit to team trust and cohesion.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way.

By creating the conditions for a healthy culture—one that’s psychologically safe and unburdened by the invisible forces that are inhibiting your team’s success—you realize a culture of candor, resiliency, creativity, trust, harmony, curiosity, and so much more.

By unearthing your invisible culture, your team’s energy levels and overall health will thank you with more consistent, sustainable, and remarkable results.

If you want a more trusting team, a culture of belonging or a magnetic brand that attracts more of the right customers, I can help. If you'd like to explore if working together makes sense, drop me a line.

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